Buster 2000 - 2011

After a very tough year dealing with personal issues and becoming an "empty nester", I had to deal with one more thing. Friday, October 28, 2011, my 11 year old shepherd mix male dog, Buster, sustained injuries that would have taken several surgeries to repair and lots of pain to endure. The vet said his age was also a factor. He may not tolerate the several surgeries. Buster was also starting to suffer with arthritis in his hips. So, I had to make that decision that no one ever wants to make. I went outside and made several calls to my family for support. I had to do it, I had to "put him down". The words that stood out the most were from my brother, who had to put his elderly dog down a few years ago. He said "Just remember, this is not for you, this is for him."

So, I returned to his side, where they had slightly sedated him, and I told him I loved him, that he was a great dog and I am sorry for the pain he is suffering right now; now you will be free from all the pain, all the while petting his fuzzy ears and kissing him on his head as my tears fell. It was amazing how caring the Vet and the staff were, to him and to me. I know they deal with this on a daily basis, but their empathy and respect was very comforting. I knew they had did the best they could to relieve his pain and they respected his life afterwards.

I adopted Buster a little over 10 years ago from the local humane society, when he was around 9 months old. They said he had been at the shelter for quite awhile and they were on the verge of having to make some decisions about what to do with him because no one was interested in adopting him. When I met him, though I could tell he was probably a little "naughty", I felt a connection with him. The humane society happily approved my application. He did have issues with men for some reason and didn't tolerate little kids that may tug on his tail, but as he got older and learned to trust the members of our family, those behaviors went away. Granted, he still didn't tolerate male strangers in the house, which helped me feel safer when I became an "empty nester" (the poor washer repairman found that out last year). But he did his job well, keeping the squirrels, skunks and groundhogs out of the backyard, letting us know when a car or person passed through the alley, or when a stranger knocked on the door. He loved playing fetch before his arthritis started bothering him. But even with his painful hips, the squirrels didn't have a chance in our backyard! It was because of him my garden was relatively "critter" free.

I already miss his "let me in" and "let me out" bark. There were many times I would be irritated by that bark, but you don't always realize what you have until you don't have it anymore. So, if you have a faithful companion that loves you unconditionally, give him an extra hug and an extra treat today, because one day, you will wish that you did.

Rest in peace, Buster. You will always be in our hearts. We love you and miss you!

Last Night

I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you; I smiled and said, "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.
- Author Unknown

Etsy Treasury

Winslow Lane Designs on Etsy featured my candleholder in her "Fishy Tales" treasury. 

Thank you Winslow Lane Designs!

One of Those Little Blessings!

It finally feels like Spring, well, Summer actually!  We are in the low 80's (F) and it's feeling mighty nice!  I made myself a cup of coffee and decided to drink it on the front porch, sitting on my glider.  As I was sitting there, something caught my eye above me.  In the corner on the ledge underneath the porch roof there is a new nest, with a mama mourning dove sitting on her eggs!  This is one of those little blessings that make me smile! 

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

My Blessings

A good start for the next chapter in my life is to discern and document the blessings in my life.  At times, I think we all forget to give them the proper appreciation they deserve.  So, my first "real" post of the year 2011 will be about the many blessings in my life.  They may not be all that exciting or life-changing, but they are what makes our lives worth living!  It goes without saying that I am grateful for my health, my job and my house, but they don't bring me the same kind of happiness like the following!

1. My family (my 2 adult daughters, my 3 year old grandson, my mom and my brother)
2. My few close friends
3. My pets (2 dogs and a cat)
4. My garden (both flower and vegetable)
5. The wildlife and birds and other "creatures" that visit my yard
6. The changing of the Seasons
7. Celebrating the holidays and special occasions with my family and friends
8. Watching and participating in my grandson's discoveries and milestones (seeing my grandson giggle over blowing bubbles or watching a funny video or the dog licking his face or feeding the fish or him asking to hold my hand when we get out of the car)
9. Creating and sharing my creations (my crafts, cooking, gardening)
10. Drinking a cup of coffee or tea on my front porch or in the backyard, relaxing, observing what's going on around me, such as the birds eating from the birdfeeder, squirrels playing, the dogs rough-housing or getting excited over the squirrels or talking with a loved one
11. Snuggling up with a warm blanket and a bowl of popcorn and watching a favorite show or movie
12. Picking the first vegetables of the season from my garden
13. Going for a ride on my scooter or the motorcycle on a warm summer day
14. Taking a walk and picking up nature's trinkets such as pinecones and rocks
15. When my daughters do something special for me such as come over and cook dinner

"May you always have work for your hands to do.

May your pockets hold always a coin or two.

May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.

May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

May the hand of a friend always be near you.

And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you."

~Irish Blessing

My Return...

My Dear Readers:

As I had posted last year, I have been going through some personal tribulations which caused me to lose interest in many areas of my life.  I even posted what happened here not too long ago, but removed it as I'm not yet ready to reveal it to "the world".  I'm still dealing with it and I am still in the middle of making some major decisions.  That being said, I have made some other decisions in my life and that is to start "living" again.  Though my blog is not all that exciting and I have yet to really find my "blogging niche", I've decided to give it a try again.  Because of my personal ordeal, I'm looking at life a little differently these days.  I feel I have changed and not for the best, at least not right now.  I was in my own little world of naive happiness.  Not that I was naive, but, people in my life weren't who I thought they were, and boy, did their behavior and bad judgment alter how I see the world now.  In time, as the pain and disappointment fades, I know I won't be so hyper-cynical as I am now.  As I find myself again, I know I will become a stronger person for it.  There's a reason for everything that happens in one's life, good and bad.  And someday, I believe I will understand why this happened.  In the mean time, I have to start focusing on the good and simple things in my life.  It is time to count my blessings instead of fixating on the negatives.  It is time to start living again!